Alexandria - 11 November 2008 16:09:51

I give up, Okay I don't give up, that's to easy.

I have no energy left in me to fight this lost cause.

I wish I had the strength to be able to believe again but I don't.

I may not have the energy to fight anymore but I can sure as hell try.

I am strong enough to do this, I've got this far why quit now. Im not going to prove everyone right, that's just not going to happen.

If amazing people can fight cancer, I can make the rest of this worthwhile.

But for once in my life I would just like someone to really listen to me not because they have to but because they want to - I know it sounds selfish but that's all I really want, just once.

I look at where I am and who I have and I am blessed, I know that, I just cant help but think I don't want to be like that I want to be me and live my life and not be able to look at them and see my future, thats not how I want to end up.

Not wanting to wake up in the mornings because you can't face another lonely day.

Relying on alcohol to replace what you've lost.

Choosing the wrong paths in life then having to back track and try and mend what was broken.

I don't want a perfect life, Im not that naive, I just want to be generally happy and for once I would like some luck - of the good kind. Thanks.