Alex ... gives up.
We're friends & nothing more I get it okay.
Im falling. It's stupid. Im not sure why.
Is it reciprocated ? Do you want me to ? Have you ?
I have no idea whether anything will ever happen. But I just can't stop myself. The closer we get the more I think something could happen. But then I remind myself that there is the possibility that we're passed the point of that & now we're just good friends. How many times I've replayed the times & the conversations in my head is ridiculous. But Im a girl it's what we do Im afraid. If I could relive that one night, things might be different now. I didn't live for the moment or whatever, I didn't do what I wanted, once again I was more worried about other people. Would it be different now ? I don't know with you, I can't tell.
All I know is how I feel & Im happy being friends but part of me is always going to want more, that I can't help. Thing is though I think you want the same, but I don't know.
Is it acctually worth the wait, or am I just wasting my time ?
God, I thought I could read people but I think I have well & truly met my match with you. Gay :P
Nope not any more.
Knot in your throat.
Blood runs cold.
Heart beats out of your chest.
Tears burn your eyes.
Hands clam up.
Questions race through your mind.
Your overwhelmed by the feeling to just jump.
Tears chill your cheeks.
Breathing becomes gasp's.
Fists clench.
Spine shiver's.
Eyes close to stop the tears.
Flash backs start.
You just wanna jump.
Reality hit's you like a train.
Knocks you back.
You stumble.
Eyes open wide.
Flashbacks stop.
Fist's unclench.
Overwhelmed by the sensation of vomit.
You squeeze your hand to your mouth.
Wipe away the tears.
Take a deep breath.
Walk away.
Jonas Brothers - Just Friends
It's cool we're just friends
We walk the halls at school
We know it's casual
It's cool we're just...
I don't wanna lead you on
But the truth is I've grown fond
Everyone knows it's meant to be
Falling in love, just you and me
'Til the end of time
'Til I'm on his mind
It'll happen
Small talk on IM
Just one word sentences
It's cool we're just friends
If I had my way
We would talk and talk all day.
______________________________________________________
Jonas Brothers - Pushin' Me Away
Pushing me away
Every last word, every single thing you say
Pushing me away
You try to stop me now but it's already to late
Pushing me away
If you really don't care then say it to my face
Pushing me away
Push push pushing me away
Stop! Tell me the truth
Cause I'm so confused
Spinning round these walls are falling down and I need you
More than you know, I'm not letting go
I'm getting close, so take my hand
And please just tell me why?
If you could have any super power in the world, what one would you choose?
Some people say to follow your heart not your head.
Others say you should listen to your head not your heart, because you can often get caught up in emotions & not see people for who the really are.
But what happens when they both tell you the same thing but there's not a damn thing you can do about it?
You don't wanna hope, because you know as soon as you begin to it gives him the power to break your heart. Just like that.
If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true
When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.
Im sick & tired of constantly trying to get somewhere but getting nowhere.
The dreams there, I can almost touch it but something gets in my way everytime.
Why for once can't someone watch over me, help me out a bit, give me the benifit of the doubt.
I know it's tested me & pushed me to do my best & I have but this time it feels like my best is never gonna good enough, there's always gonna be someone better than me. The path I've choosen couldn't have been more challenging . There was an easy option but life's to short to take the easy road, I'd rather go down the long, scary one that gets your adrenalin going, than the easy way. Sometimes I wish someone would show me an easier way to get to where I wanna be because right now I'd take it. If I could go back what, 4 years & choose this path then, My life right now would be hell of alot easier.
It's what I want & I kno even if it takes forever I could possibly do it. But what scares the complete and utter shite out of me is the fact that I'll never get there. I'll never get to do what I want, I'll never feel complete & It's scary, I'd rather not have to think about it but lately it seems more and more realistic.
I don't know if I can do it, I'm just not up to their standards. Maybe it is time for the easy option or maybe I don't take the long road & work the crap outta myself.
You know what I wanna know, What happened to those days where girls could wear baggy shirts with the sleeves rolled up, tied in at the waist, with a pair of skinny jeans & bumpers, messy hair & hardly any makeup ?
Everyone dressed how they wanted, no judging nothing. You'd literally roll out of bed chuck something on and your ready to go. These days you can spend an hour looking for something to wear out & look like you've literally just chucked it on.
I seriously think I was born in the wrong decade sometimes, because I love that laid back style, jeans & a baggy tee & bumpers, whether your going to a gig or out on the town. It was all the same, but you dress like that these days and you'd get judged. I wear it round the house but I change if im going out.
I think the punk rock dacade was definatly my decade. The decade where music had meanings behind the lyrics, where bands were God's & people were clean & respectful of other peoples indivuality. Music solved all your problems in those days, you'd just go to a gig anf forget about eveything & just listen to the music. I do that now but it's just not the same.
Sex, Drugs, Rock n' Roll all the way - Okay so maybe it wasn't so clean, but it wasn't as morbid & as disresesecptful as it is these day's.
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